Except for this one, right here. Mine. Blog. Yes. Good.
I am always on a mission to fill my house with geeky and amazing things. This is particularly difficult given that I don’t trust eBay (I don’t know why, it’s best not to ask), it’s a real task to find such magical geeky treasures in Northern Ireland (although I really do try) and I am not made of money.
I am made of water and…whatever else people are made of. Iron? Love? I honestly do not know.
There is a website, however, where all my dreams come true. ThinkGeek.com loves everything I love, and the prices are totally reasonable. They are in dollars because, like all the best things, ThinkGeek is American.
Anyway, there are literally hundreds of things on this website that I want/need/require to live, but I have chosen a few of the shiniest, most colourful things for you to go buy for me.
Marvellous, yes? Yes! And there is so much more. So much. Their selection of Game Of Thrones goodies is magical; you need one of each of these things for your season three premier party, of course.
Speaking of which…no, in fact, the perfect Game Of Thrones themed party needs a blog all to itself.
I’m not sure when it happened, but sometime in the recent past, ‘geek’ became a trend. I am not about to go on a rant about how this is disgraceful and how I hate that people are wearing Batman t-shirts when they probably don’t know a thing about him (I do hate it, by the way, but that’s a whole different thing). Instead, I thought I would take a more positive look at this trend, and how it affects ‘us’.
‘Us’ being the geeks who got bullied in school for our strange ways and lack of fashion sense, of course.
Where before, we were mocked and poked for liking superheroes more than real people, for playing Xbox more than dating and for understanding the meaning of the word ‘cosplay’, now we are highly desirable, fashionable figures of wisdom, and everyone is dying to know what we thought of Avengers Assemble and The Dark Knight Rises.
Oh! How the times have changed! Northern Ireland is usually so gloomy and stuck in it’s ways (see, for example, any thing on the news about the country, ever), that I had resigned myself to the fact that I would forever be considered ‘odd’. That I would bump into people from school, and they would walk away whispering about how I haven’t changed a bit, and isn’t that a shame?
Instead! Suddenly my Captain America t-shirt is the most admired thing in my wardrobe, my comic book collection actually played a huge part in getting me a boyfriend and my job as a history geek makes me ten times more interesting.
I’m not sure entirely where I’m going with this rant, but surely, I’m not the only one to notice this? It’s sort of a great thing – people are getting into comic books and video games in a way that they never have before, especially women, because these things now carry more of an air of normality and acceptability. Video games are now part of social events (my house has weekly Halo nights, it’s about as much socializing as we actually do), Halloween is now an opportunity to whip out your cowl (rather than yer baps, yeo), and geeky girls are not recognised as being a wonderful, hot commodity (rather than a rare, skittish, basement-dwelling creature).
I love this. I know it’s just a trend, and it will all be over soon, but in the meantime, I am content to bask in the adoration that my huge knowledge of Batman has earned me, and to take advantage of the geeky t-shirts and pyjamas popping up all over the high street.
I’m not actually asking anyone to suck anything, just thought I’d draw your attention to the winners of the 2012 Video Game Awards. And then mock their proceedings mercilessly by telling you what I think should have won. I have kept all my choices from 2012, which was bloody difficult.
90% of my suggestions are unlikely to be serious. I’m warning you now.
Game of the Year – Fable: The Journey
YES. Okay. I am massively biased, but this is a hands down win for me, even if only because I got to yell fireball at my TV. It’s also the only game I managed to play the whole way through for the first time in a long time.
Best Handheld / Mobile Game – Angry Birds Space
It’s the same, but also different.
Best Multi-Player Game – Lego Batman 2
Again, I know this is controversial, perhaps even the choice of a tiny child. I still think it was cool. Lego AND superheroes. Awesome.
Best Graphics – Halo 4
I concede. The opening sequence verges on sexual.
Best Song in a Game – “Short Change Hero” by The Heavy
The opening song from Borderlands 2! It also features in Arkham City advertisements. You can watch it here.
Best Downloadable Game – MINECRAFT
Hours of my life. Just…gone.
Most Anticipated Game – Tomb Raider
Oh, Lara. I have missed you.
Game Of The Decade- ARKHAM CITY.
HOW DID THIS NOT ACTUALLY WIN?!
Character Of The Year- Cortana (Halo 4)
I like my women naked and going mental, what can I say?
Besides, Claptrap (who actually won) annoys the shit out of me.
THE ACTUAL WINNERS.
Game of the Year – The Walking Dead: The Game (Telltale Games)
Studio of the Year – Telltale Games
Best Xbox 360 Game – Halo 4 (Microsoft Studios/343 Industries)
Best PS3 Game – Journey (Sony Computer Entertainment/thatgamecompany)
Best Wii / Wii-U Game – New Super Mario Bros. U (Nintendo)
Best PC Game – XCOM: Enemy Unknown (2K Games/Firaxis Games)
Best Handheld / Mobile Game -Sound Shapes (Sony Computer Entertainment/Queasy Games)
Best Shooter – Borderlands 2 (2K Games/Gearbox Software)
Best Action Adventure Game – Dishonored (Bethesda Softworks/Arkane Studios)
Best RPG – Mass Effect 3 (Electronic Arts/BioWare)
Best Multi-Player Game – Borderlands 2 (2K Games/Gearbox Software)
Best Individual Sports Game – SSX (Electronic Arts/EA Canada)
Best Team Sports Game – NBA 2K13 (2K Sports/Visual Concepts)
Best Driving Game – Need For Speed Most Wanted (Electronic Arts/Criterion Games)
Best Fighting Game – Persona 4 Arena (Atlus/ARC System Works/Atlus)
Best Adapted Video Game – The Walking Dead: The Game (Telltale Games
Best Independent Game – Journey (thatgamecompany)
Best Graphics – Halo 4 (Microsoft Studios/343 Industries)
Best Song in a Game – “Cities” by Beck (Sound Shapes)
Best Original Score – Journey (Sony Computer Entertainment/thatgamecompany)
Best Performance By a Human Male – Dameon Clarke as Handsome Jack (Borderlands 2)
Best Performance By a Human Female – Melissa Hutchison as Clementine (The Walking Dead: The Game)
Best Downloadable Game – The Walking Dead: The Game (Telltale Games)
Best Social Game – You Don’t Know Jack (Jellyvision Games)
Best DLC – Dawnguard – The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (Bethesda Softworks/Bethesda Game Studios)
Most Anticipated Game – Grand Theft Auto V (Rockstar Games)
So, there you go. I’m going to go have a cup of tea now, because WordPress has decided it hates me today, and I don’t know why. It’s infuriating. I might throw my laptop out the window.
I am one of those girls who goes all gooey eyed over the royal family. And also, babies. So, you can imagine that the idea of a royal baby has just pushed me right over the edge. I am particularly into the fact that this foetus could grow up to be our King, or Queen.
I blame this fascination on the monarchy with the hundreds of hours I spent playing Fable 3…
Like 90% of the people I know, I have built my entire personality and moral system through playing video games. I can only assume this will be more and more common in the future, and, with this is mind, I thought I could offer some advice to our teensy, cute little baby ruler to be. In the form of unrealistic virtual role models, obviously.
The Hero, Fable 3
I already mentioned that I love this game, so I am biased. There is a great deal a young ruler can learn from this game and it’s protagonist, mostly – if you have to piss off the population to save their lives, it’s probably worth it.
Good training for money management and dealing with bandits, too.
Ulfric Stormclock, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
It’s important that any potential King or Queen should learn history, and Skyrim is an incredibly historically accurate game. Right? Yeah, I figured.
Anyway, Ulfric Stormcloak grew up with great struggle and knows how to deal with adversity. He also fights to save a crumbling Empire, and, well, Britain isn’t what it used to be.
He can also fight dragons. That’s bound to come in useful at some point.
Varian Wrynn, World Of Warcraft
Azeroth is a massive community – multi-cultural, multi-racial and extremely violent. Ruling it must be a bitch, but the leader of the Alliance manages, somehow.
Also, the unemployment rates are super low, so that’s something to aspire to.
Well. That was tenuous at best, but I’m excited about the baby. I don’t know why. I just am. Don’t judge.
They move in together, and live happily ever after.
However, between the moving and the happy, there are some obstacles unique to those of a geeky persuasion. Having experienced most of them, I thought I would give the rest of you a heads up on what you can expect if you take the dive with a nerd.
- But…I want the big TV.
It doesn’t matter that you now have two Xboxes in the house, and it doesn’t matter that every room has it’s own TV (or two). You’ll both want the big TV to play on. Even if both TVs are the same size, you’ll both want to use the one in the main living area.
It can occasionally come down to extreme tactics…like asking for a cup of tea, and quickly getting set up while your partner is in the kitchen. That’s one of my favourites.
- Chances are, you like different games.
I am a huge Kinect fan, my boyfriend is not. He would happily switch his sexuality completely for Master Chief. I find nothing about that helmet attractive. The list goes on, of course. The problem comes when you try to find a decent co-operative game that both of you will enjoy for long enough to complete the damn thing.
There may be a lot of Portal 2 and Lego Lord Of The Rings in your future, is what I’m getting at. Compromise.
Sidenote: my boyfriend likes to mock me for my love of what he deems ‘girly games’. Well. He likes trigger happy games for illiterate cretins. So it’s okay.
- What’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is…mine.
Inevitably, each of you will have a giant collection of something. Action figures, comic books, novels, card games, video games…collections of everything. When you move in with someone, after a little while, your collection blurs into ‘our’ collection. Don’t get me wrong, this is a good, but there will come a point when he (or she) claims ownership of one of your prized possessions, and a small civil war will erupt.
(The only way to deal with this is to SHARE. Be nice).
- “I want to name the cat Master Chief”.
Maybe, just maybe, you and your darling will want to get a pet. We got a kitty, and this was an honest to god name suggestion.
Needless to say, our cat is not named after any Halo characters.
- Of course we can hang out! After this level/chapter/comic/episode.
When you live with someone, your time is not entirely your own. You are morally and romantically obligated to spend time with your new housemate, even if you think that you’ve got something more important to do.
Hint. It’s not more important. Go do something with the three dimensional people.
Of course, the regular arguments pop up as well. I just thought you might like to know what you could, potentially, be getting yourself into.
p.s. Please, please, please! Like our Facebook page. It’s Christmas.
First of all, I am incredibly biased. As a huge fan of the Fable games, perhaps I am not the best choice to try and objectively review a game that I was counting down the days until the release, but I promise you, I shall try my very best.
For example, to show how I can, in fact, find faults in the game, I’ll start with a negative. Not a big one, but it seriously affects my enjoyment of the game…I hate the protagonist. This main character, Gabriel, is so irritating that I occasionally have to mute the game. He is whiny, extremely unfunny and he falls over a lot. He also likes his horse a little more than is natural or normal.
I haven’t completed the whole thing yet, perhaps I will warm to him. It seems unlikely, mind you.
He’s also a boy. I know, shock horror, but after the gender choice given in both Fable 2 and 3, not having one here seems a tad regressive. I know it’s a stand alone title, that doesn’t follow the story of the Archon bloodline like the others (err…the hero family, in case you don’t follow the games as avidly as I do), but I always appreciate the opportunity to play as a girl. I know it’s extremely limiting in a lot of games, but I don’t know many people who wouldn’t rather play as someone with the same basic anatomy as themselves. It’s something to do with relatability, I’m sure.
Anyway, onward to the actual gameplay. I’ll be quite brief, because it is Kinect game, after all, and I think we all know what to expect by now. It is quite sensitive, mind you, you don’t have to gesture wildly to do something small, so that’s nice, I guess.
You spend a lot of your time steering a horse and cart through various forests/obstacle courses/villages, and yes, it grows pretty old pretty fast, but it’s broken up nicely with arcade like games.
Mostly, the highlight of the game is the actual spell casting element. You flick your wrist at the screen and THINGS EXPLODE. If you play it for long enough, you forget that you cannot do this in real life, and attempt to explode people you don’t like in the street.
It doesn’t work.
The graphics are much like the other Fable games, there’s a great cartoon-style aspect to the game, which means that nothing is really all that scary. Balverines and The Devourer are likely to make you jump though, but anything you have to run away from is meant to be a little bit spooky, yes?
All in all, most definitely worth a go, if you a fan of Kinect games. If not…well, this game is 100% Kinect, 100% of the time. You move, you shout, you wave your arms about like an idiot. This is the future of gaming, the days of moving nothing but your thumbs and your eyeballs, they are numbered!
This game is such good fun, the story line is strong, and Albion is still recognisable and familiar. Yes, there is physical effort involved and the main character is annoying as hell, but the novelty of throwing fireballs at hobbes – I don’t see that wearing thin too soon.