I am so sorry for the title. So, so sorry. I don’t know what came over me, but I can’t bring myself to delete it. Sometimes, I think I’m funny.

Anyway, it may come as a shock to you, gentle readers, to learn that I am not the biggest gamer in my house. Hell, I think the cat spends more time around an Xbox controller than I do recently. Only he licks it, and I don’t do that. Often.

Seen here : not gaming.

Seen here : not gaming.

My other half recently did a good thing and bought the new Tomb Raider game. I have gone through a wide range of emotions waiting for this to actually be released – from dread, to excitement, all the way to rage and then indifference. It just felt like they had been going on about it forever, y’know? I am not usually a fan of remakes, especially where video games are concerned – I feel a lot of the charm is usually lost in the addition of more explosions or more realistic boob wiggle. Or, through the addition of more Pokemon.

They really should've stopped at 151...

They really should’ve stopped at 151…

Alas, Tomb Raider has both surpassed my expectations and has proven me wrong. This game…this game is an instant classic. It is very much still a Tomb Raider game, it just so happens that, yeah, the graphics have improved. The explosions are big and bright, the deaths are gory and oddly pleasing, and the boobs…heavens, the boobs are remarkably realistic! They don’t sway in the breeze, they don’t pop out for no reason, they are – much like they are on real women the majority of the time – just there.


And it’s not only Lara’s boobs that have changed. Her character, while still posh and British, is much more likeable. I know, I know. I’m a geeky girl – Lara is meant to be the be all and end all of the video game lady roster, but I always found her stand offish and snobby.

I can even be a bitch to fake people, check it out.

Let's play spot the difference, shall we?

Let’s play spot the difference, shall we?

While she spends a lot of time falling off things and into things and over things, this just adds to the idea of the game as an origins story. Lara is not quite the superhero that she seems to be in every other game, and through the game, she actually grows and improves her skills. She’s still hot, too. Obviously.

So, yes, as far as I can tell, this game has it all. Varied game-play, amazing graphics and an intriguing story line.

Now, if only I could stop my boyfriend from staring at her quite so lovingly.